Marriage Moments will include questions and/or exercises to start conversations. They will provide an an opportunity to know yourself and your partner better. Check in with your LifeMate to see if this is a good time for them to answer these questions. If it is not a convenient time schedule a later time that would work for both of you. When you are the listener, show up with an interested and curious attitude. Be careful not to interrupt. After one of you has answered the questions, turn the tables and give the other partner their chance.
Answer these questions yourself and then ask your spouse to answer the same questions as they perceive you relationally in your marriage.
Take turns so that each of you are clear about how your mate perceives you.
- When do I distance from you? How does it show?
- What effect do I think my distancing has on you?
- Why do I distance from you? Do I fear rejection, being questioned, being controlled, being judged, or is it a revenge move…What motivates my withdrawal?
- Could the two of you come to an agreement that if one of you starts to withdraw you could give a verbal or nonverbal cue that this has happened? One of my couples uses the word “zucchini”. What are you going to agree to do?
In the next week express love to each other seven different ways, a different way each day!