by Dr. David and Janet Congo
Now that Valentine’s Day 2015 is history does that mean that we kiss goodbye to romance until February 2016?
Not if we choose to be LifeMates – a man and a woman who are married for life and who intentionally bring life to their marriage!
Romance is the show and tell of love. It’s also part of the glue that connects the two of you as you together confront what life brings your way.
Couples often tell us about the realities of their travel schedules, kid’s sports, business responsibilities, school projects, and volunteer work. Then they ask, “Is it just a fantasy to think we can make time for romance too? Aren’t we just setting ourselves up for disappointment?”
Romance won’t be a priority until we make ourselves and our relationship a priority. The secret, we believe, is planning a regular Date Nite.
Here are some questions we are frequently asked when we bring up the Date Nite topic:
• What is the purpose of a Date Nite?
It is a time to create new memories together…a time to celebrate each other, our interests, and our relationship. It’s a time to discover some new interests.
• Does it have to happen at night? We can’t find a free night.
A Date Nite can happen any time of the day or night. It might involve a morning walk, a lunch date in the midst of a business day or evening plans.
• How often does it happen?
Once a month, once a week, or anything in between…your schedule dictates the regularity.
• I’ve got enough on my platter, do I have to plan the Date Nite too? Sometimes I just long to be romanced.
We suggest that you alternate the planning so that each of you has the experience of initiating and being celebrated.
• What if I don’t like what my LifeMate has planned?
Go with a great attitude. You just might learn something new about your mate.
• Are there any topics off limits on a Date Nite?
Yes! This is not the time to discuss children, jobs, or problems. Leave those discussions for another scheduled time.
• Then what in the world will we talk about? You have just described our world.
Exactly! Funny isn’t it how when we’re dating we can’t stop talking, learning and discovering. Our curiosity is high! After children show up our conversations often center around the challenge of running a home and family.
congocounseling.com will be posting new questions each Friday under the “Marriage Moments” section to spark your curiosity about your mate and to provide an opportunity for you to share “your story” with your LifeMate.
• What if we can’t afford a sitter?
Find another couple who would also love a Date Nite. Babysit their children so they can have some childless time to make each other a priority. Then they can return the favor. That’s what we call a ‘double-win’.
Until our next Conscious Loving blog….