David and I want to share an incredibly beautiful interchange between a elderly couple who have been married 73 years. Let it serve as a reminder of how to create a loving, lasting relationship.
Erin Solari, videotaped this encounter between her great grandmother Laura (93 years old) and her great grandfather, Howard (92 years old). It is obvious that this couple has nurtured their marriage, their “US”, over the years.
Our “Us” is the first baby born into our marriage relationship.
Our “US” is who we are together. We are different with each other than we are with all the other people in our lives. It is what we will miss most when our lover has passed on.
An “US” must be fed and nurtured on a daily basis.
When Howard left to fight in World War II, his wife Laura sang him the song, “You’ll Never Know How Much I Love You” so he would remember her love for him as he faced the uncertain challenges ahead of him.
Last month as Laura prepared to transition to her heavenly home, Howard returned the favor. The way he did it, tells us so much about how their “US” had been nurtured over the years.
Their great granddaughter wrote this on Facebook….
“Moments after this video began, when grandma heard that grandpa was in the room, she asked if she could hold him. Grandpa can’t stand up by himself anymore but he immediately pulled his wheelchair close to her bed ready to make it happen. Then he managed to pull himself up.”
As you enjoy this video catch the many ways that Howard and Laura had obviously nurtured their “US” through the years. This kind of relationship can’t be faked.
As a marriage and family therapist I was deeply touched by this couple’s connection. Their “Us” had obviously been nurtured over 73 years and it was beautiful to behold. These are ten conscious loving choices that struck me as I viewed their interaction.
- They were willing to exert personal effort and sacrifice for each other.
- They had tender names for each other….”sweetheart”, “darling”
- They shared humor and laughter
- They expressed their love to each other.
- They were still looking out for the other’s best interest. “Behave Yourself.”
- They had a shared song with historical significance,
- They maintained eye contact and gave each other focused attention.
- They affirmed each other directly and to others. “You’re mine”, “Isn’t he sweet?”
- They received each other’s expressions of love with wonder even after 73 years. “He likes me!”
They tenderly touched and stroked each other.
This precious encounter between two people who had nurtured their “US” left a legacy that is priceless.
Erin reported that the hospice staff saw such a marked improvement in Laura’s affect as a result of Howard’s kindness, that they allowed Laura to live her remaining days in the comfort of her home with her husband.
Love is transformational!
This Thanksgiving season, ask yourself, “What can I do to nurture our “US”? What can I do to touch my mate’s heart? What can I do to demonstrate my gratitude to my mate?
Until our next Conscious Lover’s Blog…