meditation on marriage and fruits of the spirit

What If You Were Your Mate’s Valentine?

In Conscious Lover's Blog by Leave a Comment

prayer hands

February 8, 2016. It’s early. The world is dark. Many are still asleep. It is Valentine’s Week and I sit alone in silence.

I find myself thanking God for both the people that my children married and thanking God for my children. Then I thank Him for seven incredible little grandchildren who are ten or under and no doubt waiting for a Valentine in the mail from JiJi and Papa.

It won’t be long before I have the privilege of sitting with clients. There are responsibilities that need to be faced, tasks that must be completed and surprises that must be embraced, whether I asked for them or not.

But right now it is quiet…

I sit in the presence of my Loving Heavenly Father, the place where I have inherent worth and where grace is tangible.

This is the place where my clearest thinking happens. Who am I going to be as a partner this day and week? What is it like to be married to me? What will I choose, how be it, imperfectly, on the days leading up to Valentines?

I begin to talk to the greatest Conscious Lover of all time…

From this loved place of grace…

fruit of the spirit marriageI choose love.

  • I choose to initiate specific acts of love that I know will make my partner feel respected and valued.
  • I choose to receive my partner’s loving words and actions.
  • I choose to consciously hold on to my awareness of my partner’s worth, even when they are being difficult and irritating.
  • I choose to hold onto my own value, even when I am being difficult and irritating.
  • I choose to believe that my partner has the best intentions even when he/she screws up.
  • I choose to have an open heart and open hands. I choose to believe that my partner is doing the best that he/she can in the circumstances they find themselves in.

I choose joy…

  • Even in the presence of the difficult, the tragic, and the uncomfortable, I choose to see the God of love working things out for my good. Through my tears I reject a condemning, judgmental, cynical attitude. I choose to see God’s loving touch.

I choose peace…

  • I will remove myself from a situation when I am overwhelmed with anxiety. I will do what I need to do in that moment to come back to my partner with clarity and truth.
  • In my marriage I choose to respect and value my mate’s boundaries. I choose to clearly verbalize my own.
  • I choose to be curious rather than furious when confronted with my mate’s opinions, words, decisions and actions…his/her separateness and uniqueness.
  • I will ask for a “Do-Over” when I have been aggressive in my approach. I will be gracious and willing to forgive when my mate asks me for forgiveness.

I choose patience…

  • I will be slow to anger, slow to speak, and quick to listen.
  • I will guard my body language against all signs of impatience…sighs, rolled eyes, irritated movements. I will seek to speak a gentle word into an uncomfortable situation.

I choose kindness…

  • My words will be kind. That is how God treats me. He gives me grace beyond measure.
  • My actions will seek to do what I can to lighten my partner’s load.

I choose goodness…

  • I will not react when my partner reacts.
  • I will speak my truth in love and I will verbalize clear boundaries.
  • I will own my own stuff rather than pointing out what my mate needs to do differently or distancing in a huff.

I choose faithfulness…

  • I will keep my promises. When I give my word, I will follow through.
  • Never in my separateness will I do anything to hurt my partner’s heart.
  • I will honor the boundary around our marriage.
  • If I have an issue with my partner, I will take it to him/her. If we can’t solve it together, we will go to a trusted confidant, therapist, pastor or mentor who will walk us through the issue.
  • I will consistently pray for my partner.

I choose gentleness…

  • I will approach our every interaction with an attitude of co-operation, respect and gentleness.

I choose self-control…

  • I am God’s child. I live to be accountable to Him. My words will be intelligent, well thought out and well timed.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-controlall are fruits of the Spirit.

Holy Spirit come and help the spirit I bring to my partner be one that allows you to work in and through me.

If I succeed, I will thank you. When I fail, I will claim your grace.

Lord Jesus, my ultimate lover, transform me into the kind of lover who brings you joy and my partner gratitude.

Until the next Conscious Lover’s Blog…

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