Creating Balance In Our Communication
When I ask a couple why they have sought out a psychologist who works heavily in marriage counseling, a common response is, “We just don’t talk anymore!” Most often it is the wife who is voicing her frustration. When I turn in the husband’s direction I often see question marks written all over his face. More […]
Listening Out Loud
Numerous comedy sketches have been created to deal with the miscommunication between couples. Perhaps you have seen the new invention called the “Manslator” (A Woman Language Translator). I first saw it on Facebook. I hope that this made you laugh. Seriously though, as a marriage and family therapist, I also find it troubling. I don’t […]
The Difference Faith Makes
The other day I was asked a most unusual question. “Does it make any difference in therapy if your client is a Christian?” Often people who phone our office are curious about the therapist’s faith base or lack of it. Never had I been asked about how the faith of my clients affected their therapy. […]
The Freedom Love Can Bring
Why should I get married? As a marriage and family therapist I get asked that question far more than I used to thirty-five years ago. We live in a divorce culture. Many young people are terrified of the “confinement” they think marriage will bring. Many are afraid that they will wake up married but with […]
False Advertising
As a marriage counselor, I find myself deeply saddened by the lies that have seduced so many. As a culture we have been sold a bill of goods. False advertising has lead to broken lives and fractured relationships. What is causing the devastation? I believe it is the false advertising centered around the definition of […]
The Difference Love Could Make
“What difference has love made in your life?” The young woman who asked this question was deeply serious. I took a deep breath and replied, “One of the biggest differences that love has made is that I no longer have to be ‘more than’ in order to be enough.” Over the years as a marriage […]
Intentional Intersections In Your Day
An attractive young couple in their mid forties sat down on the couch in my office. They were troubled. He was obviously hurting and she reached out compassionately to touch his arm. It became apparent very quickly that there was so much good in their relationship. They were respectful to each other in front of […]
What Are You Really Saying?
Each of us has a desire to matter most to someone and to be loved as we truly are. Before marriage we often fantasize about hours spent together, looking into one another’s eyes, into one another’s very souls, and being delighted by the wonders we find. Then we get married! It’s as if the cares […]
Let Me Make Your Day
Is it natural for you to be affectionate with your mate? Is it easy for you to say, “I love you” to your spouse and mean it? Has it been a long time since you have gone out of your way to show your appreciation to your partner? The leader of a women’s seminar on […]
Risky Love
Are you a risk taker? Are you a person who avoids taking risks at all costs? Risk is necessary if a relationship is going to thrive. Therefore each partner must grow in his/her ability to tolerate the anxiety that results from change. One of the huge lessons I have learned over forty-eight years of relationship […]