Marriage Moments will include questions and/or exercises to start conversations. They will provide an an opportunity to know yourself and your partner better. Check in with your LifeMate to see if this is a good time for them to answer these questions. If it is not a convenient time schedule a later time that would work for both of you. When you are the listener, show up with an interested and curious attitude. Be careful not to interrupt. After one of you has answered the questions, turn the tables and give the other partner their chance.
- What did I learn about control in my childhood/adolescent years from my father/stepfather and from my mother/stepmother or other caretaking figure? Be specific.
- What tendencies do I have when I am upset? Do I go loud… name-calling, verbal attacks, sarcasm, threats of divorce… or do I go silent…stonewall, demean, withdraw, and shut down?
- How does my tendency affect you? Be specific especially about your feelings.
- What one thing could I do when upset that would make you feel as if I still valued you and our relationship?